“Do you ever think about your future?”
My friend asked this as we were heading to Pizza Hut in his early 90s Jeep Grand Cherokee this Saturday.
The whole ride we were laughing hard and telling jokes.
He handed me his phone to find some music on Spotify radio that was connected to a FM transmitter. I didn’t like the song selections so I skipped through to the next songs too quickly and the ads started playing. Once that happened he just killed the volume.
When he asked this I wasn’t surprised because we’ve been comfortable going from fart jokes to deep conversations before.
“Yeah I do all the time,” I responded.
“I do a lot. It feels that I know what I want with my future and all I have to do is reach out for it. But for me it’s actually reaching my hand out that’s the hard part. I like to see my goal and make plans to take the first small step to get there,” he said.
A few silent seconds went by. As I looked out my window I added, “but sometimes when I do I get myself depressed.”
I said this like it was normal for me but really I have never said the word depressed around anyone ever other than past girlfriends.
“Why do you feel that way?” He asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe because I am not quite where I want to be, doing what I want or have what I want. I feel lost a lot.”
We made it to the restaurant and got seated in the only open booth. After joking around again for a few minutes we got back to the conversation.
“Well what do you want to do?” He asked.
Shyly I said I had no idea.
“Have you ever thought about being a rep for some running company?” He asked.
“I think about that every once in a while. I think it would be awesome. You get to do a lot of traveling and just talk about running all the time. And I do really miss working in a running related environment,” I told him.
“So why don’t you do that?”
“I don’t know…”
“Well you say you think about it, so you must want to do it. You should give it a shot. At least research and talk to people that could help you. You’ve got the connections from when you worked in a running store. They could help you out. So are gonna do that?” He said.
“Yeah I could.”
The waitress came over to take our order. We decided to split a large pan pizza. He also got an order of waffle fries and I took a trip to the salad bar.
“So what do you want to do?” He asked again. Maybe he could tell there was something I wanted or needed to say.
“Man, I just want to run.” Everyone that knows me knows running is a huge part of my life, but I have never really opening proclaimed my dreams before.
“You should talk to companies to see if they would sponsor you or at least see if they could point you in the right direction. Maybe you could be a rep and be sponsored by a company.”
“Hell yeah, that would be sweet,” I said.
“Who’s your favorite running shoe company?”
“Brooks,” I said without hesitation.
“So talk to them.”
“I have but they turned me down.”
“Maybe you could find a company you could write and run for,” he mentioned.
“That would be perfect. I just don’t know where to start. I love to write about running and feel that’s all I write well about.”
The pepperoni pizza came and we started devouring it. (I eat meat about once a week. I have a feeling someone would have called me out on that if I didn’t say anything, haha!)
“So what do you want to do?” He prodded the question in me. Maybe to be funny or to have me get out what I truly want to do.
“I really want to run and write. That’s all.”
“So do that!” He said.
“I want to! I just don’t know how to make enough money to survive from it right now.”
Then I brought up one of my favorite speeches. I watch it about once a week because it reminds me to stick to chasing my dreams. It’s the Alan Watts If Money Were No Object talk. (If you don’t know it then click the link and watch/listen. Might be life changing.)
“There’s this talk I listen to by a philosopher and he says to do whatever you want and not to worry about money. The money will eventually come. But do whatever it is that you want,” I said.
“So do that!”
“It’s hard to take the leap. It’s funny because I try to inspire people from my blog to do what they want in life but now I’m needing the inspiration.”
“Just figure out your first step. Make small goals to go after and eventually you’ll get to where you want to be in life,” he said.
Then what my friend said next was just what I needed to hear.
“I don’t think you’re as lost as you say you are.”
He was right. I know exactly what I want and how I would spend my perfect dream day.
He said, “you know exactly what you want. You just need to do it.”
And then he asked the final question. “What do you want to do?”
With more confidence, directness and pride I said, “all I want to do is run and train as much as I can. And I want to write about running. It’s the only thing I’m passionate writing about and I love to do it. I even want to write a book about my life and running right after the big race I have coming up. Running is my passion and it’s all I want to do.”
“That’s awesome! Go for it,” he said.