I was told that I would hear back on Monday about the newspaper job. I spent the day constantly refreshing my email and checking my phone to see if I missed their call. It wasn’t until I was eating dinner, which is early because I think my stomach hasn’t left east coast time, that I got an email saying that the day was very hectic for them and I should hear back no later than Wednesday.
Today I decided I was going to spend the day in my way and not wait for the call.
The skies were clear when the sun broke the horizon. I checked my weather app to see what the temperature was outside. 17. A degree cooler than yesterday. I waited a little longer in bed for it to warm up before I took off on my run. I watched a few motivation videos to amp me up to get out the door. Checked the weather again. 16. Nice, might as well just go for it!
Had an awesome run. It might have been colder but with the sun out, compared to a grey gloomy day yesterday, it felt 10 degrees warmer. Still I had ice chucks form on my beard. I made it a priority to go buy a headband at the sports store on Main Street.
One thing I miss about Atlanta, is that there are ample amount of running specialty stores. And I worked for one. I had access to want I needed on top of getting a big discount.
The sports store here is all encompassing. It’s pretty crammed with everything they carry in such a small space. Guns, knives, skis, western attire, hiking boots and on and on and on. To the point that they have a lot but not many options within categories. So finding what I had in mind was difficult. I was about to give up when I came across a Headgator.
Never heard of one before. I’ve heard of gators for shoes and have seen people wear them during the ultras I’ve done. But this Headgator looks sweet. It functions as a headband, neck warmer, hood, hat and as a mask. This might just be a life saver for me!
Anyways, the day rolls on and I start to think the job slipped from my hands.
The call comes during the afternoon, while I’m watching the movie Splash. The job is offered. I accept it. Then I felt hesitant.
I didn’t feel any type of happiness when the phone disconnected.
The hours are 8-5 and yeah it might be a different work flow since it’s a writing job, but I can’t forget that two and a half years ago I quit the corporate lifestyle. Sitting at a desk all day wasn’t my idea of satisfaction or fulfillment. I was only at the job for a year and I couldn’t stand it. I could not for the life of me understand how people spent their entire lives at a desk job.
My reluctance also stems from the fact that I don’t want to have to sacrifice any part of my passion. What if I can’t run as much? Or have time to do core, stretching, Insanity? Or even time to do my own personal writing?
It’s also digging up the nightmare that ignited my decision to not conform to the social norm. What if I become too comfortable at the job and then time slips by. I wake up one day and realize that I haven’t done anything that I wanted to do in life.
There’s only one way to find out. And maybe I’m just thinking like a pessimist.
Is this normal to be thinking like this? Should I listen to this voice or is it just fear that my imagination is creating?